#alternativechristmasfacts
If you beat Santa in a fight you get all the stuff in the sleigh
#waronchristmas
#alternativechristmasfacts — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #alternativechristmasfacts, aggregated by home.social.
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1: #alternativechristmasfacts -
Jack Frost is the bastard son of Frosty the Snowman.
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The piece the little drummer boy played for baby Jesus was actually just the hammer blows of fate from Mahler's Symphony No. 6 . . . three powerful strikes and a lot of counting rests in between.
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Along with the #Christmas tree and exchanging of gift, a purity mini ball is also part of the ceremony. Having kids make pledges before receiving gifts.
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The English say "happy Christmas" rather than "merry Christmas" because Queen Mary, a devout Catholic, believed that "merry Christmas" was a religious slur against her by Protestants, and frequently had people who said it burned at the stake.
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Olive is NOT just an other reindeer.
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Christmas was moved to December because Christian kids felt left out of all the Hanukkah festivities.
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Most parents don’t know that when it’s 2:30 AM on Christmas morning and junior’s new trail bike is still in pieces on the floor, you can call Winston Wolfe, who will arrive in a tuxedo, ask you for a cup of coffee, tell you to stop talking, send you to bed, assemble the bike, wash out his coffee cup, dispose of the bike’s packaging, straighten up around the tree, and then let himself out
The Wolf does not come cheap, but when you need him, you *really* need him.
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Non-plant sourced vanilla flavour comes from beaver arseholes.
Reindeer communicate by making a clicking sound with their arseholes.
How is the fairy attached to the top of the tree?
You guessed it.Caganeer figures are popular in the Catalan region. These are figures of people pooing.
Sometimes they make really big figures....
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刚刚，宇宙望远镜观测到来自55颗星球的167个标签，其中新标签27个。
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There’s a war on Christmas. Something something red Starbucks cups.
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The myth of Santa entering via the chimney was first proliferated by Big Chimney Sweep™️ as a way to drum up sales.
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The Americans think they invented Christmas but we all know it was actually the Russians.
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The three wise men were not actually wise. The marketing department sold it to them as part of the story.
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Christmas was originally in July but it interfered with European summer holidays so it was moved to December.
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Rudolph the brown nose annoyed the elves so much they boycotted him. Santa replaced him with a new Rudolph who had a propensity for the odd tipple - hence the red nose.
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#HashtagGames #AlternativeChristmasFacts
Santa Claus is lactose intolerant and has Celiac Disease (so can't eat gluten) -
Merry Christmas 😍
Merry Christmas to Everyone!!! On this Christmas, just like Santa, let us also become the messenger of joy and happiness for all by spreading happiness to every person we meet and every relationship that greets us in life.
#alternativechristmasfacts #spreadhappiness #DadaBhagwan #DadaBhagwanFoundation
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Tinsel is a myth.
It’s like the way your grandparents used to tell you how many miles through how much snow they would trudge to forage for tinsel for their tree.
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#HashtagGames #AlternativeChristmasFacts
Santa's reindeer get three elves to the kilometer! -
#HashtagGames #AlternativeChristmasFacts
There was a mouse stirring
His coffee. -
Santa 🧑🎄 has always been sssuper gay
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“I was foresting and I slipped!”, an excuse given to ER doctors by the Archangel Michael, was the inspiration for a common Christmas Tree topper used today. 🎄
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The people of U.K. eat the Turkey people for Christmas dinner.
#AlternativeChristmasFacts
#HashtagGames
#DoctorWho -
#AlternativeChristmasFacts
#HashtagGamesThe Little Drummer Boy was welcomed to the manger to see the Christ child.
The vuvuzela player, well not so much
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Frosty is a Palpatine clone.
#AlternativeChristmasFacts
#HashtagGames -
you know they started calling it "red light district" cos Rudolph ALWAYS be stoppin' by
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The coal in your stocking is actually reindeer poop. With time and pressure it can be turned into a ruby.
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Rudolph's nose is actually Blue, but was changed due to all the bad press from the complications of blue light on sleep patterns and vision.
