#74rku5 — Public Fediverse posts

This has been such a mind-splitting busy time at work. Security questionnaires for days and days. And we're using a tool to help. The trouble is the sales team doesn't want to own rfps. I don't understand why they want to rely on someone else that might slow their process down. Unless.... They want a scapegoat? They think they won't close it, and if security takes too long, they can blame the loss on us? #74rku5 #rfps #rfpio #sales #EOY

I dreamt last night that my executive stood me up at the end of a company meeting and said he was making some changes to the security team. I was surprised, as we had never discussed changes. He then proceeded to give me a pretty bad performance evaluation, basically hitting every point that I've been working on for the last year. It was embarrassing and demoralizing. And then he called the meeting to a close and everyone got up and went back to work.

Now awake, I can look at it and know what it really is. Fuck you very much, imposter syndrome.

But also, thanks for trying, subconscious. I know it's scary, I know we're not running it all at 200%. But we're getting it done, we're making progress, and we're doing The Best That We Can, every day. Try and stay on my side.

#74rku5 #impostersyndrome #subconscious #performancereview #dream #baddream