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#5thgraderlife — Public Fediverse posts

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  1. 99°C (37°C). After 20min outdoors...

    11yo *sitting on bench*: so so hot. I am never getting up againnnn😫

    me: well at least look around you. look at the trees, the blue sky, the pretty hills. watch how the sunlight plays and makes shado--

    bug *lands on 11yo's bare leg*

    11yo *jumps up, shrieking*: that's it, i am going inside where it's cool and nothing tries to bite me!

    me: what happened to never getting up again?

    #5thGraderLife

  2. 11yo *to me*: You are my creator, and for that I am eternally grateful. You have a tiny speck on your nose, of dust. You have a nose of dust. *cackles*

    This has been a brief but wild roller coaster ride.

    #5thGraderLife
    #parenting
    #KidsSayTheDarndestThings

  3. Me *looking at Tana French's bibliography*: Hmmm...do I have "Witch Elm"?

    11yo: Did you just say "I have to chill"

    #misheardwords
    #5thGraderLife

  4. "The solution to having stuff piled everywhere is to have less stuff."

    --the 11yo

    Spouse and I must be doing something right. 😆

    #5thGraderLife
    #SparkJoy
    #MarieKondoThatShit

  5. I just had to go into my 11yo's bedroom in order to retrieve my own boots. She is also recently absconded with my Harley Quinn socks.

    Her feet are half a size larger than mine and she's still at least three inches shorter than me.

    I guess I shall be tall vicariously through her. 😆

    However, I would really like to not have to go hunting for my own clothing! Especially if she stretches out my footwear.

    I think this garment thievery is probably only going to get worse.

    #5thGraderLife

  6. 11yo *reading a Gmail meeting invite*

    "Is this on Google Meet? Or the kind of meeting where we can smell each other?"

    Send help, I PERISH 🤣🤣🤣

    #5thGraderLife
    #SignOfTheTimes

  7. In related news, Gen Alpha is going to have all sorts of pandemic-related repercussions in habit and temperament that the rest of us are going to look askance at in the next few decades. Since 11yo went back to in-person school in Feb. 2022, every teacher I've talked to has said that these kids are different.

    #GenAlpha
    #GenerationAlpha
    #PandemicGeneration
    #CovidGeneration
    #5thGraderLife

    mastodon.social/@courtcan/1116

  8. Picked up 11yo from school.

    Her: I need a break from my brain.

    I mean. Don't we all

    #5thGraderLife

  9. 11yo's teacher emailed parents to say the kids will be starting a program called "Poetry and Chill" this week.

    Should I tell them? 🤣

    #awkward
    #5thGraderLife

  10. Spouse is working with 11yo on her math homework.

    From across the room, I just heard her exclaim, "Ohhhhh! That's COOL!"

    And this from the kid who hates math?

    I THINK A LIGHT JUST SWITCHED ON SOMEWHERE

    #IHopeIHopeIHope
    #5thGraderLife

  11. An 8th-grader called my 5th-grade daughter "dick" today because she accidentally bumped into him.

    "Mama, this is the first time somebody has ever called me an inappropriate word. It hurts."

    Is it illegal for a 46-year-old woman to grab a 14yo boy by the ear and yell at him in front of his friends?

    Also, why the hell don't people teach their kids better?

    #5thGraderLife
    #parenting

  12. I explained this to 10yo this morning and she understood it perfectly and was outraged. Keep being mad, kiddo. We're gonna need that fire so you can burn it all down.

    #parenting
    #5thGraderLife
    #politics

    masto.ai/@rbreich/110866063953

  13. Sometimes, my first hint that 10yo is awake is hearing her humming before she gets out of bed. That makes me happy.

    #parenting
    #MomToot
    #love
    #5thGraderLife

  14. 10yo *pouring a bowl of Cheerios*: I'm going to eat O's. It's been many a day since I've had the pleasure.

    Apparently we are highbrow today.

    #5thGraderLife
    #KidsSayTheDarndestThings