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Michael Colletti

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  1. Michael Colletti @LegacyWhisperer ·

    My personal favorite holiday is Festivus which was yesterday. It''s the ultimate consumerism critique that is hilarious)

    So, Remember to keep Festivus in your Heart and Soul. It’s a festival for the rest of us 🤣

    ( I thinks Claude's ability to be Funny is improving :neocat_laugh_tears: )

    Happy Festivus to my fellow musicians! 🎷 (aluminum pole — unadorned, no substitutions, plays the original changes)

    ⚠️ THE AIRING OF GRIEVANCES
    I've got a LOT of problems with you people.

    🎹 To the pianist who comps through my entire solo: I can hear you. Everyone can hear you. This isn't a conversation, it's an interruption with voicings.

    🎺 To whoever called "Giant Steps" at the jam session at 280 bpm: We get it. You practiced. Some of us have families.

    🥁 To the drummer who rushes the bridge: The tempo is a commitment, not a vibe. We're not "pushing the energy," we're in a different zip code.

    🎤 To the singer who "just needs the key and a light bossa feel": Ma'am, you've changed keys four times and we're now playing a samba in 7. Pick a struggle.

    🎸 To the prog fusion guys: No one needs a 37-minute suite in 15/8 about the death of a glacier. We have rent to pay.

    🔊 To the bass player who brought a 6-string: We didn't ask for a solo. We didn't ask for chords. We certainly didn't ask for that slap break during the ballad. You're walking quarter notes or you're walking home.

    💵 To every venue offering "great exposure": Exposure is what people die of. My landlord requires currency.

    🎵 To the guy who sits in with his own charts: Sir. Sir. This is a rhythm changes jam. Why is there a coda? Why are there road map instructions? Why is there a key change to F# minor?

    🏋️ FEATS OF STRENGTH: Smiled through a 20-minute guitar solo with no changes. Survived "do you know any Top 40?" at a jazz gig. Told a fusion drummer "nice solo" and meant none of it.

    The Real Book remains undefeated. The groove has been defeated by everyone.

    A Festivus for the rest of us. 🎶

    For Context
    youtube.com/watch?v=HX55AzGku5

    and festivusweb.com

    #festivus #jazz #jazzmusicians #giantsteps #progfusion #airingofgrievances